Wednesday, March 16, 2011

2 years from now

In 2 years from this week, my guess is that I will be getting ZERO sleep. Match day (aka the scariest day EVER) is on Thursday. You find out at the beginning of the week IF you matched and then Thursday you find out where you'll be. Robert and Phil got word yesterday that only 2 out of the 5 Emory med students that applied matched for Ortho. I know, I know...they probably weren't qualified, right? WRONG! Supposedly one of the people that didn't match had a 267 on his Step 2 boards...oh.my.gosh. There must be more to the story because that is insanity.

I believe with my entire heart that he will get matched wherever we are meant to be. It's always super scary when you have zero control. Que sera sera...I guess.

We got the LOFT! RR and I have been going back and forth deciding where we're going to move for the next 2 years. We decided on a great place down the street from where we are now. Next decision- loft or flat? I love the loft- he loves the flat. We had a long conversation last weekend and decided to go with the loft. We get keys Monday. Exciting!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Taking the Uggs out of hiding

It's cold again! After several weeks of absolutely AMAZING weather, it's back in the 30's today. Bummer!

Really good news: Robert did very well on his boards
Other really good news: he was elected class president 2 weeks ago.

Two wonderful things that he completely deserves that will hopefully be big perks when he applies for residency. I couldn't be more proud of him. He works harder than anyone I know...it's a gift, really. I've never met anyone else in my life with so much determination and focus. AND stamina. I don't think I could sit in one room for 3 months, 12 hours a day and read. I just was not cut out for it, but I'm thankful there are people that can. And that those people can help others.

The first week of February (the week after boards) we spent the week in Costa Rica with 19 friends and family that are somehow connected to Roberts aunt and my mom. My dad had to bail 2 days before because of something that came up at the law school that he needed to be a part of. It was such an incredible week. For one, we were in paradise. And for another, it was so wonderful getting to spend time with Robert's extended family. We've a pretty decent amount of time together before, but vacationing with people is completely different. We had an absolute BLAST. Robert's aunt Ann chose the people for the trip very carefully so we would have the best group possible...and we did. Probably one of the best weeks of my life.



Work is going well but it's insanely busy. One of my bands broke up, which is always hard, even if you know it's for the best. It's just really hard to close a chapter of something that so much of your love, passion and energy went to. Fortunately, some of the members are still actively a part of the Alliance family so I get to talk to them and work with them on a daily basis.

For the first time, I'm finally feeling like a working adult. For some reason I've always felt like an intern. Not because of how anyone else is treating me, but because of me trying to remember that I am on staff here and getting paid. Being an intern for 4+ years and then transitioning to the "real world" is a really weird thing mentally. After almost 2 years of being here, I think I've finally started to define myself and it's such a good feeling. Very challenging, but it feels great. As more time passes, I hope more and more that Robert and I are able to stay in Atlanta. BUT, I know that's not in my control.

My parents have been in Australia visiting Kristen for the past 2 weeks. I miss them a ton. We're keeping Rex right now so he doesn't get lonely. OH and the biggest change of all since my last post- we had to put Gonzo (my beloved cat and first pet) down about 2 weeks ago today. Nothing could have prepared me for how hard that would be...on all of us. He was the first pet our family had as a baby and he was a bundle of life so there is definitely something missing in our family now.

Back to work.
xoxo
Cals

Friday, November 5, 2010

"You know what gives me the red ass?"

Being safe. The people who take risks often fail more than the people who take risks, but when they succeed, they succeed big.

I refuse to sit down and shut up. That's probably a blessing and a curse in this business. A blessing because I think that gives me a competitive advantage to succeed. A curse, because so many people don't and won't listen to someone they don't think is deserving.

I've been told so many times that I have great ideas and great ambition...but that's where it seems to stop. If you really believe in me, then put your money where your mouth is. Help me out. Help me expand on these ideas. I'm so lucky to be able to work somewhere where my boss lets me take chances and test out different waters, BUT I've yet to meet a person in my life that says "yeah, that's great, let's figure out how to make that happen". Because...it's a risk. AND the facts are that right now, people don't want to take risks. They've succeeded for themselves and they're comfortable living in that bubble without taking chances on something new, something risky.

I think the cool thing is that we have the opportunity to band together and help each other out...which would be great in theory, until people start drinking the cool-aid and start being rude and moving on from old friendships that might benefit them someday. Yes, you jumped on a project train that was already successful..so what? You didn't do the hard work. You didn't lay the groundwork for the future. So who the hell are you? Someone who took the easy out and chooses to drink the cool-aid and ass kiss to your predecessors who, in all likelihood, won't be working with you for too many more years. AND who are living in the "glory days" of music when things were thriving. Things were SO different than they are now. Knowledge and experience of how music came into being such a part of our culture is IMPERATIVE for those of us new to the business to learn. BUT, if we only listen, if we don't take chances and if we don't try to break through what HAS been, we'll never get to where we're going. Some of us will jump on trains already headed in the right direction and many others will spend their lives as music industry admins. Comfortable, secure, boring.

I've scheduled some meetings for next week. One, with a long-time family friend who is a hugely successful businessman. I want to talk to him about the corporate world and the music world, and how they can work together. The general consensus is that you need big money, big labels and big radio to do big things in country music. I don't totally believe that. I think there's a lot you can do with money. Not loans- partial investors...and donations. I think there are people out there that love music and are smart with business and aren't involved in our industry. And I think we're wise to ask them for advice. So I'm doing that next week.

Also trying to meet with a very well-known, very social woman in Atlanta about image. I also think that you don't need someone getting you spots in the paper to make you well-known and respected. I think you need an image overhaul. Someone to take you to parties, get you into their inner circle...and then word travels fast. I'm going to see what she thinks. Networking is so crazy important and if you have someone on your team designated to help you network and be in the Atlanta public spotlight...even better.

A co-worker said to me last night that every once in a while he kicks himself for being "too respectful" to other people's opinions when his gut is telling him it's not right direction to take. I know this feeling all too well. And it is frustrating to know something won't work out but to give up the battle and let people explore. Sometimes that's good...sometimes not so much. I've been thinking a lot about a specific time within the past 6 months that I did stand up and voice my concerns...and no one agreed with me. Wondering if I made a mistake by not standing up more...giving it more time. Kind of pisses me off. Not a great feeling.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

bed of roses

It's really weird to have a family history of anxiety and depression and be dating a med student who's going through pysch rotations. It's very boxy. Not sure how I feel about that.

Tons has happened over the past few months.

1. My sister moved to Australia for the year. I was really sad when she left because I felt like I'd never see her again. Rational, I know. But I was really excited for her because I hoped that she would use it as a time to grow up and figure out who she is and what makes her happy. I havent physically spoken to her since she left but my mom skypes with her every week so I feel like I talk to her. I have been keeping up with her blogs and from what she's writing- it sounds like she's really happy and really growing up...which makes me happy! She's made the official decision that she's not coming home for Christmas which makes sense financially, etc., but I think it's going to be pretty hard for me to wrap my head around. I'm 24, she's 22 and we've spent 22 Christmases together. This will be the first time ever that I don't have her here to share all of our sisterly traditions together. I miss my sister. I'm glad she's having fun but I really want to see her again. Looks like that might not be happening until next summer. Bummer.

2. One of my best friends joined one of the bands we manage so that's been cool/scary/fun, etc. I'm in a really weird place with work right now. I feel like there are so many things I want to do, but I'm limited for a handful of reasons. I don't know if I'm doing what I want to do or not...and even having that doubt bums me out. BUT at least I really love my job and I have a job- in that respect i'm very lucky. It's just hard to roll with other people's decisions when I don't necessarily agree. Which would be fine, except that we handle people's dreams. Not their finances or their cars...their dreams. That's a pretty big thing for someone to share with you, and sometimes it's really hard.

I'm also struggling with what reality is in my business. I keep hearing that my industry doesn't do certain things or plays by certain rules. Fuck the rules. There is no rulebook anymore. Let's get it done. Let's put one foot in front of the other and keep walking. The fear of other people's level of determination makes me nervous. Such as happened before, if you're not giving your all for this- why give me your dream to help you? In the end, I'll look like I failed you. I'll feel like I failed you. And when you're not coming 200%, it's not a fair thing for me to have to carry with me. I think my strength is also my greatest weakness. I'm too emotionally invested.

3. VAL HAD A BABY! Like, a living, breathing, little baby girl. Kesley Evans Hicks (no I didn't spell it wrong. It's said like KESSSSSSLEY). She's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. When Val's husband texted me the picture of her, I couldn't help but tear up. It was such an emotional experience. Partly because no one knew if she was a boy or a girl, and party because val is my first best friend to have a baby. I knew her when she met her hubby so watching this all unfold is pretty amazing. I went to meet her for the first time last weekend when she was 4 days old.

I held her as long as I possibly could and she pretty much slept the whole time. I'm going again this weekend and then again the day after thanksgiving. I think by thanksgiving she'll probably have her eyes open more and be more fixated on us. Should be really cool to see.

Robert is out of town with his frisbee team playing in the national championships in Sarasota. They have a twitter that they update so I'll be keeping track of the games from those posts.

xo for now

Monday, May 24, 2010

Don't worry 'bout tomorrow

I always say I'll do more here but I never do. Robert and I just got back from my sister's graduation in North Carolina. I can't believe my baby sister graduated from college...and I've been out for 2 years...weird. Time seriously flies.

Robert only has a month of his first year left, which is absolutely INSANE, then we're off to Italy with my family for 10 days. I can't wait. I really need a vacation and some R&R. We've been going non-stop for the past month with weddings, graduations and work and I'm ready to hop on a plane and leave for a while.

Robert finished anatomy last week so there was a post-BLAM at Q-zar to de-stress...interesting choice but I can't blame them. I'd probably want to run around and act like a kid too after 7 months of dissections.

Other than that there's not much to tell. I'm still working a ton and trying to figure out what I want to do with my life but I'm just letting it happen and taking it one day at a time (which I'm terrible at...I'm a big planner). Robert and I are going to sit down soon to start making a list of our contacts and who we need to reach out to for him to shadow, so he can start networking and seeking out potential residency programs now, so we know what we're aiming for.

Oh AND...we just confirmed a trip to Costa Rica after Robert takes the first part of the boards in late January. We're going with a ton of family from his mom's side of the family and my parents and we're staying in a beautiful 16 bedroom villa. LOVING IT. I'm so excited!!!! I can't wait!!

Alright, I'm super un-motviated and I need to get back to work. Sleepy monday!
Cals

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Meanwhile, back on the ranch

Wow. I completely forgot we had this.

Life has been completely insane. I've really grown into my position at work and am pretty consistently working 12-13 hour days. I'm completely exhausted but hopefully it will all pay off at some point. I've had friends say they're worried about how much I work. I'm on the go 24/7

Robert is loving school, and he's doing really well. Despite my attempts to reach out to his classmates- still don't really have friends in Robert's class. The people we spend the most time with are the guys that live in our complex. They're in Robert's study group so he spends a lot of time with them. No couples. No girls really. I've made attempts but it's pretty clear that we have very little in common other than Robert. Nice girls though- strange at times, but very nice.

I'm so glad his class is so down to earth- I was so worried it would be full of arrogant jerks and so far we've both seen very little of that. A bunch of his classmates wound up coming to my birthday bash so that was pretty awesome. It was cool to have them in my element hanging with my friends a little. Most of the time I'm doing med school stuff.

Robert was thinking of buying a house and were hindered by the fact that we really have NO CLUE where he'll be a resident. That is not even close to reality for me at this point. I really have no clue what I'd do if he were forced into residency anywhere outside of Atlanta or Nashville. It's so hard for me to think of us being anywhere else but I guess at some point I should prepare myself for the possibility. It 100% freaks me out to think about that. I know he knows I want to be here (because both of our families are here) but I also know, at the end of the day, he is matched. SO, with that said, since he's only an M1, he has some time to make great connections here. We are fortunate enough to have grown up here and have a lot of friends who have parents in medicine. Hopefully he can make some connections.

We have our first formal tomorrow (aka med school prom)- appropriately named "Cadaver Ball". Should be fun. I got a gift certificate in an event gift bag a few months ago for a makeup application, so I'm forcing myself to leave work early to indulge myself.

I should really find my friends on here...this thing is pretty useless so far.
xo
Cals

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The First Month

Well, it's been a little over a month and I can't say a whole lot has changed- except our utilities have gone WAY down since both of us are gone during the day ( a huge plus!)

We spent pretty much every weekend the first month doing M1 stuff, which has been interesting. I think he has a pretty good group of people in his class. I definitely don't get the drama vibe from his class- nerdy? yes. Drama? not so much. Maybe it's still too early for that. The girls I've met so far are really sweet. We haven't found any dating couples in our position. Either people are married and never show up for events or single and out all the time. Since we don't fit into either, we generally pregame with the med school, then head home or hang out with our friends from high school.

I had my first feeling of weirdness- I was reading Robert's syllabus for his physical exam lab (chest up-nothing invasive) and they are paired with partners for the semester. The dress code is gym shorts for guys and either a bikini or gym shorts and a sports bra for girls. SERIOUSLY? Make me gag. Robert might have to do physicals on his girl CLASSMATES in bikinis? That's not awkward at all. I get exams on random people, but classmates? weird. I lucked out and he got paired with a guy.

Overall things are good, the apartment is starting to come together. I really want a new couch set...and we're talking about a new tv. We'll see if it happens or not. My guess is not but maybe I'll have it within a year or so.

We're going to our first doctor dinner next weekend. Some Emory doctor invited over to his house for a dinner with some of his colleagues. Should be fun- I'm looking forward to it.

xoxo